Ranting on the Fakes and Frauds out there

Just a note:  I am not a professional writer.  Just the average blogger who likes to blog their thoughts and opinions.  So please forgive the typo's and grammar mistakes.  Your welcome to email me with suggestions on how to better write out  my blog if you have some professional writer, journalist experience.  I enjoy some constructive criticism, and helpful honest advice!

I have read Maggie McNeill's blog The Honest Courtesan often and have subscribed to her blog posts to read many of her delightful and informative articles. She is a retired escort now turned blogger / book writer and is a highly intelligent, very talented writer whom I have always admired over the years for her writing style, and candid perspectives on the world of prostitution and all things in the world of "sex work".  One thing is for certain anyone who has worked in the field of "sex work" will quickly come to appreciate Maggie's cerebral, thought provoking style of writing, as well as the hard work she puts into researching her history, crunching data, and finding all the facts.  You will see me reference her blogs and articles often.

When I say cerebral I don't mean boring her writings are anything but.  Maggie is a very strong advocate of sex work, highly opinionated and she tell's it like it is in most cases.  I encourage anyone interested to read her blog site as you may get hooked like I did years ago.

Who is Stella Marr?

While scanning through numerous online posts and news articles for research materials for my own blogging purposes, I ran across an old online article from the New York Times here:  Nevada's Legal Brothel's are coercive written by the author Stella Marr.   Suddenly, I remembered that the author Stella Marr was in some article posted on The Honest Courtesan, and in an effort to remember what the hoopla was about I searched Maggie's blog site for more info on this lady.  

From what I gather in the blog by Maggie's  Tangled Web  this lady Stella Marr was leading alternate persona's online, for the sole purpose of lying and going after anyone who were sex worker advocates.  Her name is not Stella Marr but Amy Panomarev a real estate agent in Houston, who started her own blog site some time back : My body the city: The secret life of a call girl 

Amy (aka Stella Marr) has been a well known prohibitionist of prostitution.  She claims she was a call girl for many years, was homeless at some point, and suffers from MS.  

It appears Amy (aka Stella Marr) engaged adversarially with other escorts against the evils of prostitution through Twitter postings, Facebook, and blogs, stating that the women she knew through escort services and brothels suffered a history of trauma and abuse.  She claims she is a prostitution survivor.   See also: Open Letter to Stella Marr

Amy rallied her cry with fervor that all prostitutes need to be saved, that they have all been victimized at the hands of evil pimps and so on.  She will discount any sex worker who voices their positive experiences, (as do most prohibitionists) about prostitution and will claim they are just desensitized or in denial of their own trauma.  Such has been her cloak of advocacy to save the "whores" of the world and to demonize anyone who says anything positive about prostitution or otherwise.

What Maggie and Norma Jean seemed to uncover is this lady is a sham and her claims are most likely false, made up or highly exaggerated (apparently someone close to Amy got wind of her online persona and was upset that she was making shit up and posting lies so they gave her personal info to the sex worker advocates whom she was slandering and attacking).  

In addition it would seem that the The New York Times didn't do enough investigation of their own to uncover who this Stella Marr really was.  New York Times has only helped to perpetuate the continuing stereotyping, and stigmatizations about prostitution and or sex work by allowing this Amy to place a misleading, exaggerated, and possibly false written article on their opinion pages.  

Again it seems the media has fallen for the "dirty laundry" made up hype of prostitution and given credence to someone like Amy (aka Stella Marr) just to gain readership.

So Maggie's blog points out:

"I suppose we shouldn't be surprised that she left such a gaping logic hole in her invented life story.

How much of that story is real?  How much embellished?  How much distored, wildly exaggerated and "reframed"?  How much made up out of whole cloth?  We simply don't know and have no way of telling at this time, and I have to wonder if Amy hersefl even knows any more.."

The Melissa Farley's of the World

I haven't read every article written by Melissa Farley, but I have read enough of her website and articles online to have a pretty good idea she is a lunatic who is very good at pulling the wool over others eyes when she touts all her so called "research" concerning prostitution.  She is a prohibitionist of sex work and claims to be a advocate of the traumatized, victimized prostitutes of the world.  

You can read here: A Load of Farley by Maggie (The Honest Courtesan) which points out unproven shady research done by Melissa Farley and the media who keeps touting her as some kind of expert.  

 If you look at people like Melissa Farley, one would almost think they are teetering on their own mental deficits to be so obsessed with sex workers and so adamantly against prostitution.  See this old online debate by The Economist  Prostitution Debate  where Melissa Farley argues her case against prostitution.

Melissa Farley is arguing morality here.  In addition she says:  "in prostitution, men remove women's humanity."  Men, she says, "turn a prostitute into nothing  more than "a rented organ".  

I personally can speak from experience and say this is far from truth.  Melissa Farley wants to blanket all men as abusers of women and women haters who patronize a prostitute or even use porn or visit a strip club.

Are there some men who are mysogynistic?  Yes.  Are there men who respect women?  Yes.  You cannot label all men who visit prostitutes as mysognistic, women haters with violent tendencies.  What Melissa Farley lacks is balanced, unbiased perspective.

(Melissa Farley's so called research is picking out worst case scenarios to make her points, interviewing only street walkers in the worst circumstances asking them "leading" questions then making her research case on them, without talking to or interviewing all women in the field of sex work, from high paid escorts, to internet call girls who run the gammit from all levels of the socio economic ladder.  Even Melissa Farleys own peers are critical of her  her research methods).  See critics report on Farley's research below:  (credit to The Honest Courtesan for this PDF report) 

A Commentary on ‘Challenging Men’s Demand for Prostitution in 
Scotland’: A Research Report Based on Interviews with 110 Men 
who Bought Women in Prostitution, (Jan Macleod, Melissa Farley, 
Lynn Anderson, Jacqueline Golding, 2008)

Quote from report:  "This research on which this report is based was not grounded in empirical research ethics or a critical, objective method of producing knowledge. There appears to be no ethics approval or peer review  in terms of the design and execution of the project. 

There is no evidence that participants were asked for informed  consent and no 3 information is given regarding the ethical protocols that were followed. Similarly,  though the survey methodology is described, details of the questions asked are not provided.  It is standard practice that questionnaire instruments are included in an Appendix for scrutiny. The report was published in-house by the Women's Support Project. This is outside the normal academic peer review process and therefore it is not entirely surprising that the report is not of an acceptable academic standard".

I can only speak from my personal experience.  Most of the men I met through escorting were lacking intimacy in their lives.  Quite a few had inept social skills with people (woman in particular) or were dealing with some type of disability that affected their ability to connect with women and find intimacy.  Some men were "workaholics" and traveled so much they had very little time to engage or develop a meaningful relationship with a woman leading to the intimacy they needed.  These men in high pressure jobs such as a CEO or executive had very little time for dating.  

Very few of these men that crossed my path in escorting fit the "mold" that Melissa Farley claims.  Most were very respectful, very kind, and most were grateful to have met an escort who did not judge them. Sorry Melissa but your claims are exaggerated about these men.

  They were not looking for a "rented organ" as Melissa claims, but someone whom they could briefly connect on an intimate level.  Most of these men do have respect for the women they visit.  

I have met them all, (all types from all walks of lives) and I am telling you they are not all like the description Melissa Farley depicts.  What they are lacking is the female companionship and intimacy.  The sad fact is,  some just cannot get it without paying for it.  I cannot judge someone for wanting such a human need and seeking it out in such a way.  None of us should.  It isn't all about the sex either.  Some people might be surprised at how many men pay for time to do more talking and connecting than just the sex act alone.  

The Melissa Farley's of the world have such blind bias they either can't or won't see the positives of sex work.  The Farley's of the world seem incapable of seeing past her religious ideology.

What alarms me the most is that Melissa Farley comes with the "clinical psychologist" credentials and so one would think she would take into account even those who have had positive experiences in the work of prostitution.  But it is clear she is very biased and so her research too is biased (and in my opinion flawed), so one cannot really rely on her work as being completely objective, factual, or truthful but more disingenuous at best.

So I put Melissa Farley right up there with Stella Marr, they are both fakes and frauds and should be seen as such.

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1 comment:

  1. Thank you for your honest perspective. I respect your beliefs & courage to speak out.


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